what does it take to be a stapher?

As many people know, staph erections are right around the corner.  During the spring time energy is already high, real high. We're also all really friggin stoked to see who is going to join our crew.  What does it take to be a staffer, you ask?  Well the answer is kind of complex, but I'll take you through the necessary steps.

#1. Tits
Having boobs is always a great way to get on staff. And hey, don't be afraid to show them every once in a while, everyone likes to look at a nice rack.  Make sure that you use your twins to your advantage, because not everyone trying out for staff has them - you know who you are!

#2. Genitals
Show me your genitals, your genitals. Show me your genitals, your genitalia!  Now here's a requirement that isn't biased towards anyone (unless you count man titties).  If you know SOS well, then you'll know how willing we are to get naked.  If there's an excuse to drop down your pants and run around the cabin, fuck it, everyone knows what they look like, right? I hope so.  Beware, we live by "Less pants more fun!"

#3. Consumption
People who are adamant about getting on staff, show officers how well you can consume.  Consume what, you ask? Well, anything and everything really, really fast.  Whether its a tasty, cold frosty beverage, or a leafy thing helped out by Will Smith, we recommend consuming all of it in under 4 seconds...preferably. 

#4. Be interesting
Boring people suck.  Make us laugh.  Pull down your pants and fart in Branderson's face.  Explode a beer can over your head in Danger Can.  The SOS staff is a group of weirdos and we want you to be one too!

#5. Learn Whizz Boink
SUUUPPPPEERRRR MAAAAAN!
I FUCKED LOIS LANE!
Whizz boink is the essence of SOS and you best learn it.  It's very simple, but can get a little confusing.  Nevertheless, it's a great game that is continually added to.

#6. Really, really like being on the mountain
During the winter season we go to Tahoe A LOT.  Many of us practically live there and are literally MIA during the months the snow is falling.  We also run four cabin trips (which are described in the earlier posts) in which we expect all staff to attend.  You don't need to be a pro boarder or the steeziest skier on this side of the Mississippi, you just need to have heart and the passion to learn.  Riding with people who are at a higher level than you pushes you to learn and try things you wouldn't really do on your own.  We love to see people improve and meeting up with people randomly on the mountain to shred the gnar.

#7. Be okay with sharpies.
Nuff said.

#8. Grow a mustache
There are multiple months in which all the men on staff grow (some try but simply cannot) a mustache/handle bars/flavor savors, etc.  No shave November and Mustache March are just a few examples.

#9. Be (semi) responsible
Every week every staffer has to wake up at 5:30 am and meet in Wellman to do boards.  If you have never heard of boards, its this shitty thing were you have to go around and chalk all the boards with upcoming events that SOS is throwing.  It's definitely the worst thing about being on staff, and as much as it sucks nuts, its totally worth doing for all the rad things we do during the winter.  Tables is a much better part of being responsible.  You need to have four hours of tabling a week (its where you sit at tables on the quad and sell the club) and once you do it you'll see how sweet it is.  Its pretty much meeting new members and seeing who is going on all the trips.  Doing your jobs that are required go toward your point system.  When you complete a responsibility, you get a point.  You fuck up, you lose a point.  The number of points you have determines the amount of dolla bills you save on trips.  Its all about tha hamiltons, baby!


#10.  Be down to party and bullshit any day, every day
We are like family, and more than likely one of us will have something going on during the weekends.  If you happen to be elected for staff, know that there will probably be something going on every weekend, and you're invited.



So there you have it.  Above is a list of things that are most admired in staffers, and if you posses any of these skills/qualities that are listed, then come the hell out for staff!

I leave you with a poem:

With karate I'll kick your ass
Here to Tiennamen Square.
Oh yeah, muthafucka,
I'm 'onna kick your fuckin' derriere.
You broke the rules,
Now I'll pull out all your pubic hair,

muthafucka.

better late than never

So I figured that since this was started after most of the cabin trips, I might as well do a little run down on how the others went.  Probably can't give you all the details, but the ones that are crisp will appear below:

Cabin Trip One: MLK 
Where did we ride? Homewood, Alpine

When past attendees think about the MLK cabin trip, the first mob to Tahoe, one word comes into mind: EPIC. After an All Cal that was sure to have rocked everyone's world and a long winter break, most people can't wait to get back on the mountain during the Martin Luther King long weekend.  The club usually rents two cabins and shuttles 100-120 eager college students ready to outdo anyone and everyone in the rage factor.  Butterflies knot the stomachs of returning staff and officers in the inevitable fun that is about to persist.  Everyone came with their silly hats to wear on Saturday excited to meet the rest of the people who were bound to show up.

Beer Olympics.  What team would you represent? Would you wage a holy rage war with Vatican City?  Or would you murk your opponents with the I.R.A from Ireland?  Or maybe you like to swing a different way, why not join DVDA?  Whichever side you would like to take, the Beer Olympics are always a great way to see who the gnarliest of the gnar are.  I DO believe the IRA took it this year? Oi!


Cabin Trip Two: 'Merrrrika!
Where did we ride? Alpine, Homewood
 
 On this cabin trip we all got down and dirty with our red neck selves.  Tattoos of PBR cans started popping up on upper arms, wife beaters and short shorts emerged and we even had a record number of gingers show up on Saturday!  Only one cabin was rented this trip, but this one cabin was all we needed.  In the middle of the house, there was a stair case, and on this stair case there were carpeted stairs.  I'm not sure if you took math in highschool but the equation goes like this:

stairs + carpet (socks) x drank = bruised tailbone

I personally fell down the stairs twice, once with two cups in my hand (only spilled a little!)  When decisions started getting a little crazy, there was even an incident of two bodies at the same time; one may or may have not been head first.  There was no hot tub on the porch, unfortunately, but there WAS pulled pork sandwiches that had been roasting in a crock pot for about 10 hours (or something like that) - Thanks John Bird, you're the breast.

As the rednecks laid their trucker hats to rest, so did Mother Nature's snow machine.  No snow the weekend of cabin trip two, but much shredding did in sue.

Cabin Trip Three: NOR-CAL

Where did we ride? Homewood, Alpine, Northstar

Norcal, The motherload of all cabin trips.  If you want to go on at least one trip in your life, Norcal would be the one to go on.  This cabin trip is a lot like AllCal, except in Tahoe.  All the UCs travel with their own members and lodge around the same areas so that everyone can hop from cabin to cabin with ease.  UC Davis, Santa Cruz, San Diego, Berkeley, Irvine, LA, and Santa Barbara all showed up ready to claim the Norcal cup as their own.  If you aren't familiar with how AllCal/Norcal works, its simple.  All the schools compete in a number of events and the school that scores the highest by the end of the weekend gets their name engraved on a solid gold trophy. With diamonds....or it could just be a really convincing looking plastic cup.  I'll let you be the judge.  

The events that we compete in are:

• Flip cup
• Boat race
• Thumper
• Race the mountain
• Dirrrrty dacing
• Fun race (AllCal)
• Nastar (AllCal)

Davis was able to claim the Norcal Cup as theirs last year and was confident that they could do it again.  The race the mountain competition is usually done on a neutral mountain in which no one has really skied before, but this year it was done on Alpine, our home mountain - of course we kicked ass.  Congratulations to UCLA on winning flip cup, they actually just started up their club and took a whopping 40 members up to Tahoe!  The boat races were fun. My favorite part, actually.  Davis and Santa Barbara were to be the schools that started off the boat races, paired up accordingly since we both are similar in our chugging ability. Well, kinda.  As soon as the race began, it was already over with Davis beating Santa Barbara by more than a full cup.  We could have been faster if we had more boys than girls, but we didn't.  We like to strive for equality.
On Sunday night all the schools traveled to a location in which no one would be extrememly responsible (in past years we would all meet up at one schools cabin.  Lets just say it got a little expensive with damage charges.)  This year we went to a bar and pizza place that was located in Tahoe City.  The theme was rock stars and super heroes, and shit, everyone looked pretty damn fly.  The inside was raging with color, DJing by both Iain Lowis and Will Baur, and blue mohawks.  It was my third Norcal, and I would have to say that it had to be one of the most epic cabin trips, let alone Norcals, that I have been on thus far.  STOKED for next year.


Cabin Trip Four:  Our last hurrah
Where did we ride? Alpine, Homewood

I already gave you a little dosage of this cabin trip.  Go to the last post, I'm way to lazy to summarize again...but I will show you a funny picture of one of the nights on the trip:

XTREME HUG

So there you have it! That's a little sumin' sumin' about each cabin trip we go on during the winter season.  When I scrounge up AllCal pictures (my camera was 'stolen'...okay lost at a bar) I'll post some shit about the motherload of all trips, the cream of the crop, holy shit did that just happen, BEST trip you could ever decide to go on in your entire life.  News at 11!

we have way too much fun

Welcome to UC Davis' Ski or Snowboard Club's blogspot. Although we've been around for a minute, this is our first attempt to share info about our trips to Tahoe, gnarly group of friends and good times we have throughout the year. Every winter season we run cabin trips to Tahoe every other weekend in hopes to catch the storm and shred the gnar. You don't have to be a pro to join, either; you don't even need to be registered as a student! Meet us on the quad Monday through Thursday 11-3 at our table and we'll give you the raw info on how easy it'll be for you to get up to the mountain and have some of the best times during your stay in Davis.

This last weekend (2/26-28) we ran a trip up to Northlake and rode both Homewood and Alpine on Saturday and Sunday. The snow was falling on Friday night and made travels a bitch for a lot of people caravanning up; a few cars were driving for over 8 hours! But hey, you gotta chase the pow, right?
Saturday was some pretty damn good riding over at Homewood. The powder was fresh, our gear was steezy and we were ready to make some fresh tracks. Some of our first runs were over at the backside in Hobbit Land and in between the trees, the shoots and the powdery bowls, the crew was ripping it up. Other than the occasional 'lets hit a fat pack piece of powder and fall on our ass' moves, the sun was out and the day proved to be a success. When we were done with the mountain, back to the cabin it was for a night of rage. Everyone brought up their golfing attire ready to kick some balls at being awesome. Who said that Tiger's hoes couldn't find some other pros? No one did, and that's exactly how the night carried on. A hot tub sat on our porch that was complemented with the absolutely gorgeous view of the snow scattered shore and iridescent lake behind it. The golf party inside was riddled with games of pool upstairs and others downstairs such as elimination troll flip cup.  Elimination troll flip cup you ask? Well, take a regular flip cup came (the more the better), a large glass table, and all flip at the same time.  The last person left who has failed to flip their cup THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY DEGREES (we don't screw around with that 'tip cup' bullcrap), has to then proceed to sit underneath the table so that everyone else still playing can watch their sit of shame for the rest of the game.  You don't wanna be one of the first people out, this game can last a looong time.
As the cabin full of golfers and hoes integrated and got to know each other over drank, the snow continued to fall only to ensure and remind us that our epic weekend was not yet over.
Everyone was awoken either by extreme thirst, Doody's obnoxious voice or the smell of pee in the morning. As I stepped outside to get some fresh air, I was reminded of the day that was ahead of me. Although I, like many people that morning, didn't feel exceptionally motivated to do much of anything, the epic few hours of cleaning had to commence. That animal skin rug, antlered candle holders, coffee pots and those adorable family photos had to come out of secret hiding to be replaced so that no evidence of us could be detected. Spots were removed from the carpet, lone wet socks thrown away, and chiefed pencil-mustaches had to be washed off (well, most of them at least). Half the crew of about 50 people boned out and went home to either get some needed sleep or finish ten page papers due Tuesday that they hadn't started. The other half, mustaches and all, slowly made their way to Alpine to get in another day of shredding.

The last cabin trip is always a bitter-sweet moment for staffers. Winter quarter definitely takes a lot out of you when you're up in Tahoe every weekend either with a group of homies or running cabin trips. It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it. Spring break will give mountain-goers a nice relaxing hiatus to get ready for the epicness that we call Spring Quarter here at Davis. If this is your first Spring here, or if you just haven't taken advantage of all the fun shit we like to do, join us!




Are you ready??





Spring Skiing
Float Trip
Picnic Day
Houseboats
Sloshball
The Erection Pool
BBQs
Day Raging
Whole Earth
....and all the sporadic stuff in between

Come ready to have some fun. We hope to see you there.